alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
