Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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