I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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