Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
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