Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I think my fart just growled at me.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
