It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
