Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
