I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Let the clothes fall where they may.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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