I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
