Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize