I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
