dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Randomize
