Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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