so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
