Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
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