just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Blood and glitter go together right?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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