i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
