I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
you would pick up someone in the library
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
