he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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