Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
