the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
