dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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