I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
ttyl tear gas
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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