piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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