You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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