We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
