we're blogging at a bar
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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