My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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