you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
