i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
