The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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