O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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