people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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