Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
