I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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