I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Randomize
