Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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