A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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