There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Randomize
