This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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