things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I just got carded by a ten year old.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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