Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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