was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
The adults are the big ones right?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
