soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Randomize
