weddingsv make me drug and hornr
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
