Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
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