omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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