help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
