and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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