Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
