Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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