i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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