She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
