I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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