I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
