im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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