If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
she woke up with a sticky ear
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
