i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
