I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
