she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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