Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
