Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
